Cookies, not Cooks

Okay well I am now being forced to write letters because I now only have 45 minutes to email... not cool. Oh wells.

So CONGRATS to Nachy... wow feels like just yesterday we were going to Truck Stop after math class to get recees pieces and chicken strips and then going back to the college to do the homework and hiding our food from people haha good times. Weird, I was in 8th grade... I feel so old!

Im with Cheyna... I think Denalli should shave his head and him and Brew can take a twin pic.

Grams I got your letter! It made my day to hear that the Jazz are doing good... seriously Hayward is a boss... I have been pumped on him since they first got him. I hope your leg is doing better as well!

Also someone tell Gramps good luck with the surgery... im jealous i seriously love surgeries... morphine is the greatest.

An elder here was re-assigned and served with Dayton, I asked him if he actually talk and when he said yes you can imagine my surprise. I think the most I ever heard him talk was when he got mad at me and cortney for putting his pic up in NAPA for employee of the month. I just literally LOLed remembering, I did some funny stuff in high school but that was one of my bests :)

Ays wants to know if I go shopping here... nope I wont until Im closer to going home so I dont have to pack it all around. There is definitely some cute style here though. There is a guy here who makes the CUTEST boots for 100 reals which is like 45 dollars more or less that I will be getting. Seriously, custom made boots with real leather... such a steal. Other than that the clothes are all from the US from like the 90s. People are rockin hollister.

Cookies are still a gold mine here but people refuse to call them cookies, they call them cooks and it drives me nuts... whatever.

Do you all want to hear some good jokes?
Dad: there will be lots of people who speak English... FALSE, I have yet to meet one.
Stetler: Oh people like sisters more than elders... FALSE, they like that elders have the Priesthood and think we are worthless. Some people in the ward wont even feed us, only elders.
Every person who has served in Brasil: You will LOVE Guarana... yeah they failed to mention it tastes like COUGH SYRUP! But they drink it all the time, its so awful.

2 things I dont think I will ever get used to, Guarana and all the hugging and kissing on the cheeks... NOT OKAY, I HATE people touching me, seriously I cringe every time.

Okay funny thing: So last monday we went and taught a less active and where she lives its not well lit and the roads are dirt. Well its raining, so its cold and everything is muddy and the roads are rivers. Well as we were going home we couldnt see a thing and just kept tripping in all the mud... it was fabulous.

The language is still bad but obviously it gets better with time. Constantly when missionaries compare me to other missionaries I say, ITS HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE! (My sisters better be dying of laughter right now). Seriously a Friends quote turns any day right around. No its definitely carma though for all the years I was so impatient with people for not knowing whats going on and not learning things faster and now thats me.

I got a new DL, hes American so now in our branch we have three americans and then my comp the only Brasilian. Hes good, hes like Garrin though and doesnt know how to talk haha.

Oh this week we were also told that we can only listen to hymns or mormon tabernacle choir, (this is directed towards the siblings because i know the parents dont know whats going on with technology) so if any of you have some free time (which i dont really expect because you all are busy with school, moving, kids or jobs) but if you do then if someone wants to make me some CDs with some sweet songs that would be much appreciated. Also, if someone wanted to send me a DVD with the mormon messages in Portugues that would also be more greatly appreciated... people love to talk here and the only way to shut them up is with some type of filme.

Mom, if you could send me a portugues personal progress that would be great, I work a lot with the mocas here. also pics of my baptism would be fabulous. Maybe one with me and Logan in white and one with me and dad since he confirmed me. I dont even know if we have pics like this.. i honestly dont remember much from my baptism except aysia telling me if i sin after i am baptized bad things will happen hahaha.

Okay after that long list of demands here is more of my week... we had the most people at sacrament meeting since ive been here, a whopping 65!

Remember the dad I told you about last week that came to church and I was so excited about? Well he came because he had stopped smoking. I found out this week he started again and he didnt come :( So sad because his fam is the bomb. Honestly, his wife is a saint.

Their daughter Andressa totally takes care of me. She constantly feeds us at her house, goes to lessons and fellowships everyone and has the cutest little boy. Well I found out this week she is only 19... what?! Seriously my mouth dropped to the floor. Well, her husband isnt a bmember and we had a family night with them and he agreed to be taught... im so stoked. They remind me so much of Cheyna and Garrin. She bosses him around and He is just quite and nods and their son is hilarious and 2 years old so they remind me a ton of them.

We are teaching a girl named Allysondra and she is so sweet. She turned 15 this week and we went to her party. She is going to be baptized on the 22nd!! WAHOO! She has read everything we have given her and jsut loves Joseph Smith, its epic.

The work is semi better with my comp. She punched a wall this week ;) one minute she is crying, the next shes yelling and the next she is laughing. Shes bi-polar. Well not really but i think so sometimes. I dont know how to deal with emotions. When she is crying i feel like the most awkward person ever and dont know what to do. I usually just go into the kitchen and make her some cookies and call it good.

Okay so last few things because I have like no time anymore. send mail to my address here, not the mission office. it takes me like a month to get those, i get the letters here normally in 2 and a half weeks. Also, if you send packages write on it, missionary supplies because then i dont have to pay an arm and a leg to pick it up.

Okay the work is real... we had a lesson with Fran about tithing and it was cool to finally be able to speak enough portugues to really share my testimony and tell her how a few weeks ago my parents and i were fasting for something and then find out a few weeks later about the thing we were fasting for (yeah super vague but i have to be ha sorry) we are going to fast with her for her husband to agree to be legally married. the spirit was in that lesson so strong and it was so cool.

seriously, ive never been so grateful for prayer in my life. my comp doesnt talk to me much and is usually mad at me so i spend most of my days praying and i wouldnt survive without it. its real and its powerful and God wants to bless us we just have to ask!

I hope you all have a good week! Amo voces!

PS Sagan... on a daily basis I say, AH stupid metric system... seriously I feel like Rachel and dont know whats going on with it.

PSS the pic of the parade of carnival shows the macumbas... this crazy african religoin that is sketch up the yin!

Be Meek and Lowly of Heart

So the title of my email is what my transfer theme was (I like to have transfer themes now, thanks to Sis. Blosil... it makes things more fun). Lets just say I have learned a LOT about being meek... oh boy have I! Going from one mission to another is rough because things are SO different. Obviously, I loved NY and I loved President Calderwood so adjusting and loving another place and president has taken some work.

 

Also, I have constantly been told I need to tell more in my emails... well its truth time. I have tried really hard to only be positive and optimistic in my emails. Well the first 5 weeks here... there wasnt a lot of good so I didnt have a whole ton to write about haha. And Ays, the reason I havent sent a lot of pics is because it takes forever and a day to up´load and then I can usually only send 2 with each email. its such a pain!

 

I spent the majority of the first 5 weeks sitting on my bed. My comp wouldnt do anything. I tried EVERYTHING! seriously, any type of motivation I tried... including guilt and bribery. Nothing worked. I talked to people about it but then when leaders would ask her she would tell them it was me who always wanted to stay inside... yeah thats real fun. Who are they going to believe the girl who just got here who doesnt speak the language or the one who does? Yeah thats been lovely.

 

Anyway, last week after she refused to get out of bed I finally just said look, I am trying to learn a new language I need blessings, you need blessings with your family, and the ONLY way to get those blessings is to be obedient! What do you need to make this happen? Well for some reason, this time it worked!

 

Seriously, she apologized and we made a Vision Goals and Plans (a NYS Mission thing) and things got like a million times better... AH YEAH!

 

So a normal day here... we eat lunch with members EVERYDAY. Always, rice beans, chicken or beef and potatoes convered in mayo.

Seriously, because I have no control of what I eat with members (and they get offended if you dont eat a ton) I have gone into health freak mode times twenty. Sister T. in NY would be so proud of me :)

 

However, I baked SO much this week! Chocolate chip cookies are a gold mine here. People LOVE them so we are able to get lessons with people because we make cookies together first, or I just bring some. Its pretty epic.

 

Carnival was this week... well its actually still going on tonight. I HATE CARNIVAL! So we live right in the middle of the city so I have not gotten ANY sleep the past three nights because my apartment is shaking with music. Its ridiculous. At 6:30 when we normally (I say normally because I am already up the past few days) wake up, people are still out partying!

And we ALL know how much I LOVE SLEEP! Its a problem.

 

Mail: Mom I have gotten everything you have sent. It takes about 2 and a half weeks for mail here. I still dig the postcards. Haha you are the most faithful writer ever, I love it! Ays I got yours too... Brewer is so dang cute I cant wait to meet him! You said youre the worst writer but you have written me the most besides mom. Yeah that tells you how many letters I get. Haha jk I am grateful for the emails.

 

Also mom, have you saved all the pics I sent home? Most from NY were from my ipad and so I dont have them saved. PS I havent even SEEN an ipad here! #brasil

 

Mom could you send me small pictures of the porto alegre temple and maybe one or two other brasil temples. And a nice picture of the prophet? It would be really nice to have when teaching... I had it all on my ipad before.

 

Okay so a little more about the work here now. So the members need some serious strengthening, so I thought okay what strengthens people more than anything else. Reading the BOM! So I decided to do exactly what we were doing in BUSHWICK! Everything is being centered on the BOM now. Its so legit. Obviously not everything is the same. For example, we dont have a facebook page telling people what to read each day. Instead we now have Noite do Livro de Mormon. Basically a seminary for adults one night a week because most people here wont read on their own, or dont know how.

I think its so cool how I am able to take things from NY and impliment them here! We are already seeing progress.

 

For transfers everyone in my district is staying here except my DL and my new DL is american so we will have 4 americans and 2 brasilians. Elder Soares (the one Elder Brasilian who is staying) is all stressed about being the only brasilian in the casa hahaha. My comp and him are going to learn some english now :)

 

Normally there are 4 sisters in one pad but our area doesnt have four sisters so i finally dont have to share a bathroom with a million people, I LOVE IT!

 

I honestly do love my companion so much now. Seriously, night and day difference.

 

I HAD A BAPTISM! Bianca, shes 14 and they had been teaching her for awhile but she wasnt progressing, I asked my comp well does she even want to be baptized and she said she didnt know. WHAT? they hadnt even talked about baptism with her?! My second week here we taught her and I asked her straight up. I feel like I get to be much more bold now that I have a language barrier because I cant beat around the bush with extra words. She said yes, and after that lesson she progressed like crazy.

 

She was baptized saturday with a man we found, Arnold and passed on to the elders. On Sunday when she was confirmed they had a lesson in Mocas (young women) about the atonement and Bianca bore her testimony of it and goodness the spirit was SO strong. Ah she is great. Missionaries are shocked here when they find out I have only had 2 baptisms but I dont care. Julia and Bianca have been worth every second of my mission.

 

The baptism itself was a bit hilarious because Elder Vernon, the american that came with me baptized her and he dunked her and I guess he thought she didnt go all the way under so he kept pushing her down and we were all yelling LEVANTAR! (Raise) because I seriously thought she was going to drown, it was borderline torture. Elder Vernon is so great though dont get me wrong... #18yearolds it was hilarious and i will never forget it.

 

MIRACLE THIS WEEK: Okay so there is one family that I just adore! Irma Vanulda. She has 5 girls and she is the gospel principle teacher. In the picture i sent home of everyone on the bus she is in the lower left corner. They are so good to the missionaries and she would do anything for anyone. Well her husband... I just adore him too. He reminds me SO much of dad! Like seriously he just sits there quietly, normally asleep. And is so patient and calm (lets be honest though, dad isnt patient when hes in a city... especially in his truck). He doesnt say much but when he does, he is usually making fun of you. Well the main difference between him and dad is he has been COMPLETELY inactive for a LONG time. His wife has gone through the temple but he hasnt and their family isnt sealed... breaks my heart. So the MIRACLE is on Sunday he came to church! When I walked in and saw him sitting in the corner I almost started crying seeing him there. Oh that family needs a priesthood holder so bad and hes so great he just needs to get things in gear. Now i am certain he will though, he felt the spirit there for sure!

 

Mom send me your pizza dough recipe will ya?

 

Umm I dont really have much else to tell except maybe this week was super awesome because it rained like CRAZY which cooled things down a ton and I was actually able to feel like a normal person. I did my hair for the first time being here, it felt great!

 

Also, we are emailing at a new place and I cant send pics... glorious so i will go somewhere else next week or maybe even later today and send  crap load home :)

 

 

What a week...

First thing first... MY BEST FRIEND IS ENGAGED! Ah Cort I love you and im
so excited... dangggg Stet did a good job at picking out that rock. I knew
she would cave eventually ;) so weird that she will be married when i get
back!

Oh boy this week... so the great thing about here is that I sleep like a
rock. However last monday, at 3:15 I woke up... like WIDE AWAKE! I look
over and see that my comp isnt in her bed... WHAT THE HECK?!
My first reaction is fear, not fear for her but fear for myself. Why? My
first thought was that she could be in another room doing some weird
Brasilian ritual thingy... I dont know why I thought that.
Okay I do, its because of some gnarly churches here that do crazy things.
Anyway, I realized that she was in the other room talking on the phone....
WHAT THE HECK?!
I sat in my bed thinking, do I bust her tonight or in the morning. Well my
dad syndrome got the best of me and I fell asleep before I could decide.
That morning I was like okay WHAT THE HECK?!

Yeah.... thats my life. I feel like I am babysitting... I wake her up, I
tell her to study, she sits on the sidewalk as I run back and forth on the
block, I force her to lessons...im not in NY anymore.
The sad thing is, apparently this mission is a lot more obedient than other
Brasil missions. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! I feel like everything is so
disobedient here! Its probably just because I cling to the rules because
they are the only things that are familiar to me.

On a positive note... she really is a great teacher so once were there its
great. We have been teaching a 15 year old girl named Biance. Her mom is a
super less active. Bianca is SOLID and is reading the BOM and has questions
about it and its just great. She is getting baptized on Saturday! WAHOO!

Im trying really hard to impliment a lot of things we did in NY with
working through the members and strengthening the branch. The work is SUPER
old school here and not the most efficient. So yeah, NY is coming to BRASIL!

This week I thought about where I have lived the past year... Blanding,
Arlington, Brooklyn and Brasil! Super legit right? Im so blessed!

Fran, our investigator who wants to be baptized still cant get her husband
to be legally married so that is frustrating because she is solid. she
comes to everything, and is basically already a member, there is just that
little part of MAKING SACRED COVENANTS! We will keep praying.

This week President Parrela and Sis Parrela came to Rosario do Sul for a
fireside on Saturday. I didnt understand anything but whatever. Sis.
Parrela is crazy but great. She told me chocolate is of the devil... woops.
haha we went and ate after with them and they told me how much they love
the Palmers (the ones who were on the tour with them.)

It rained like crazy on Saturday! Anytime I wear my orange skirt it just
pours... im going to start wearing it everyday! jk... well...

On Sunday we ate with Mari... a member here who is so cool! She reminds me
of Lisa Rarrick in like every way possible and always feeds us. Her husband
is so dang good too. He isnt super interested in the church but one day
that will change. They made Armadillo for us on Sunday... yeah i ate that
sucker and it is SO good! I felt like I was at Rodizio grill... so much
meat... ah i love it!

As far as teaching... there isnt really anyone else who is progressing a
whole lot. We could stop and teach anyone because people are just nice and
friendly here but the church of the devil is really strong here and so we
try to avoid a lot of houses where that crazy stuff is going down. Satan is
very real people and he is trying to gain control over you!

Well with that... dont worry about my blisters... an elder gave me lots of
stuff to take care of them. Brasil is bumpin!

com amor,
Sis Shumway

PS im really glad to hear that dad didnt die of a heart attack in Hawaii...
ill be honest, i still dont really believe that he actually went ha.

Japanese?

Mom, could you forward this to all my sisters? Its exhausting trying to send this to everyone.

 

Happy birthday to denalli and Lsha this week!

 

AHHHH this week... Sag sorry my emails arent as good, I seriously stress about trying to write everyone so chill. Also I have not read Harry Potter.

 

So I havent gotten an email saying dad died of a heart attack yet... thats good news. I can just imagine him on the plane or looking at the ocean right now. HA!

 

Yes, people here first think I am Brasileira and then they ask if im Japanese?? Because I have squinty eyes and Shumway sounds Japanese to all of them. So funny. 

Also, I have a pic of our family in my scriptures and when people see it they ALWAYS point at Sagan and say voce! Then I show them where I am and they laugh and say no and then point at Sagan again... people really dont believe me! Who knew we looked so much alike. 

 

Mom dont stress about my health. Tell Jo I am praying for her... gosh that sucks so bad my heart goes out to her. I cant imagine being ripped away in the middle of your mission. 

 

I CONSTANTLY put on hand sanitizer... my comp thinks im stuck up for it but my DL who is also a Brasilian explained that germs and bacteria are just different here and my body isnt used to it. I only wash dishes with our filtered water and brush my teeth with that. I wear flip flops in the shower and close my eyes... dont worry I am a germaphob now. 

 

Mom, could you send my Traces address? I want to send the boys some Brasilian money. 

 

My investigator, Fran is just a gem. She is the cutest thing and her daughter, the autistic one is so dang cute. We are praying for a miracle that her husband will get legally married to her so she can be baptized.

 

Apparently this area is rough for misisonaries because baptisms are hard to come by. After new york im thinking dannnnngggggggg 20 lessons in a week! So yeah, im happy with anything now. 

 

Sag, get on my FB and update it with pics and stuff and accept the friend requests, they are people here in Brasil.

 

We had an activity on Saturday where we watched the Other Side of Heaven, I couldnt understand much but it was fun to chill. I made popcorn for everyone. Dad taught me right. 

 

Sunday, there is this little boy who is 9 named Jao. He is my best bud here. He sits down next to me in Sacrament meeting. and proundly pulls out his own personal hymn book. He shows me and he has words and phrases marked up. Then even more proudly, he pulls out his BOM. Same thing, verses and marked as he has gone through and read it... hes 9! Then even more proudly with the biggest smile on his face he pulls out a picture of his parents, dressed in white on the day they were baptized. I just wanted to start crying right then as he told me about the picture and expressed such gratitude for his parents decision so he could then be sealed to them for all eternity. HES 9!!! People are just amazing. 

 

Okay, so this week as I was fasting and praying I thought a lot about sucky things. (I think it was grandma kathy who told me she hated the word sucky so im sorry for this, bear with me. sometimes there is no other word to describe a situation. Sucky things are just sucky.)

My heart just ached for people who have experienced such hard things. But everyone goes through them. Does that make them less sucky? No of course not? How do we REALLY deal with the trials in our life?

 

i remembered once, Sister Blosil and I were talking about how people think Mormons pay tithing to buy their way into the temple. She said, its such a tender mercy because if people arent willing to do something as small as paying tithing, how are they going to be willing to keep covenants that we make in the temple that are much greater and of much greater value than paying tithing. Tithing, yes it has its many purposes but it helps prepare us for something bigger and better. Same thing with trials. 

The gospel doesnt make sucky things less sucky, it makes it so we are prepared for CELESTIAL GLORY! Because salvation is not a cheap thing. Christs suffering was not small, so the fact that we have to go through a FEW trials too is something very small in comparison. 

If we are not able to go forward in faith with the trials we have in this life, this extremely short life how are we going to be able to inherit all the God has, WORLDS WITHOUT END?! 

I know, that sometimes I forget that Christ was half-mortal. Being perfect was NOT easy for him like I sometimes assume it was. I feel like Satan is attacking me so much because Im a missionary. Think about how much Satan attacked Christ! Christ went through way more than we ever will! 

Sucky things are going to be sucky no matter what. But what the gospel gives us is PERSPECTIVE and HOPE! We know WHY we have to go through these trials... we are being prepared to receive more than we can imagine. 

Brigham Young has a quote that I love, 

Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to ENJOY the presence of the Lord... Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your SALVATION

 

Epic. Also, because God is so merciful doesnt just give us these trials and expect us to endure it he gives us HELP. We constantly are surrounded by angels who are bearing us up. Go read the talk The Ministry of Angles by Elder Holland (you know it will be good) from General conference Oct. 2008

 

Mom, could you send me a recipe for peanut butter?

Also, the address is right, you just put Brasil at the bottom. 

 

Eu amo voces!!!!

Simone's Address

 Sister Simone Shumway

                Caixa Postal 40 Centro-Rosario do Sul-RS

97560-970

Brazil

Fanny packs and American music

Cheyna would love it here... everyone wears fannypacks! Yet, I have not
found one place that sells them. How is this possible?

Also, there are cars with GIANT speakers that drive through the streets
blasting music. American music. I dont even realize it but because its in
ENGLISH (yeah people dont know what theyre listening to here) I start
singing along and then I catch myself rapping along to eminem or something
like that.... ahhh its so bad but i just love english!

This week was super interesting. My comp was sick so I had to stay inside
for like three days just sweating my life away...l its was great. NOT! I
also went to the hospital with her.... yeah not sanitary whatsoever. I will
NEVER get sick here.

On that note... everyone asks about the water. Well when its 115 degrees
you drink whatever. Lets be honest, I saw a worm in the water back home so
this water is great compared to that haha.

We had mega-zone conference in Santa Maria this week... I didnt understand
anything but I got to go to... wait for it.... SUBWAY! but it wasnt the
same unfortunatel.

Sag, to answer your question, on a scale of 0-10 my portuguese is honestly
a 1. Like its BAD! Ive never felt so dumb in my life but its a good
huimbling experience. Also, will you send my Jordan Palmers address. sister
Millett in NY wants to write her.

Mom,. will you send me an easy chocolate chip cookie recipe and crepe
recipe?

Im stoked to have a little Garrison running around. Too bad the thing wont
talk until he is 25 haha.

Okay also a talk I read this week, Swallowed up in the will of the
Father.... its great and totally put me in my place.

Keep it real
Sis Shum

pics: sometimes it rains for 5 minutes and its the best!

blisters...

Omnibus

Okay so I think last week I was so overwhelmed with having some technology I completely freaked out and didnt write much... that and I have about a billion and a half people in NY to keep in touch with... e-mailing is now super stressful. 

First off I have learned more about Gods sense of humor... he sent me to a place where they drink tang... ALL the time... yeah it makes me sick. Dad would LOVE Brasil for that reason haha. 

I still dont know what the heck is going on here but thats okay, im just enjoying the ride... The kids teach me the most Portugues and I attempt to teach them english. My comp and some little girls now say, I feel ya, thats legit and like a boss.... yeah im leaving my mark here for sure.

Ive been wondering how can the work be EXACTLY the same and complete OPPOSITE at the same time? Its weird but true. Obedience is a lot different here, and its kind of frustrating because missionaries constantly say, well things are just different here in Brasil... NO they dont have to be! We can work with the members just as much here. They can fulfill their callings just as much here and we can be just as obedient. 

Im pretty sure im already known as the nazi obedient missionary but thats okay, obedience is the only frequency the spirit operates in... from an apostle. boom.

Okay let me just paint a picture for you... somehow we now have a bus to pick people up for church... its old and ghetto and barely runs. On Sunday  it was about 48 Celcius so like 115 degrees... yeah i know its miserable. We are packed onto this bus, the windows dont open and it is at least 130 degrees up in there. I was just dying at the situation! Honestly, the funniest thing I have ever seen everyone was dripping sweat but just happy because we were going to church. it was epic and we had 6 investigators come! SOOO uncommon here in this mission... we found an epic family that we are teaching.

3 of the girls, Hannah, Rose and one I cant pronounce came to church. Also, a lady named Fra who is like the prettiest girl ever came who has been investigating for 5 years! She wants to be baptized though!!! 

Cool story... we were teaching Fra and she has the cutest daughter that has autism. Anyway, somehow I was able to tell her that she is an amazing mom and that her daughter is extremely special and she came to earth in this body because she is too important to be corrupted by Satan. I had NO idea what I was saying... nada. My comp told me after, but it was like someone was whispering the words to me. After I got done saying this, her daughter looked at me and just started smiling and laughing. I realized though she wasnt looking at me but looking just to the side of me. I know that the spirit world is REAL and it is here on earth. I still dont know who it was whispering the words to me but that lesson was powerful and it was the lesson that she decided to get baptized.

problem... shes not legally married and her husband doesnt want to be. We are having a lesson with him this week though..... he needs to step it up.

100% I know that happiness is a CHOICE! It is miserably hot here, I cant communicate, Im getting super fat, blisters cover my feet... there is NOTHING fun about a mission, nothing. However, if you choose to find happiness a mission  can have fun things. A mission in general is not fun. It may be rewarding and worth it but not fun. But, you can choose to HAVE fun. if that makes any sense? I shouldnt be having fun and be happy in these circumstances but I am... i totally am somehow and its legit. 

Also, Stetlers scripture that he shared with me before I left, Mosiah 5:13 gets me through a lot of things. I am so grateful for all of their examples. 

Dad, you found the right place, it has a huge river here. We eat chicken, noodles, rice and beans for every meal and I freaking love it. Excepts I have never weighed so much in my life. Diet started yesterday. 

Peace out my friends... be good! 

Culture sock? Nahhhh